It can be difficult and confusing for children to understand the effects of their parents’ divorce, separation, or parenting arrangement. Regardless of the type of parenting arrangement, there can be psychological and emotional effects on the children involved. That is why it is crucial for co-parents to act accordingly, open positive communication with their children about the changes and offer them reassurance as their situation evolves. If you want to mitigate the potentially harmful effects of a custody battle on your children, it is important to navigate the arrangement effectively while remaining civil with the other parent.
To begin, the Quebec courts make all decisions pertaining to children in the child’s interests and in compliance with their rights. Before deciding on child custody, the child’s moral, intellectual, emotional, and physical needs are taken into consideration. This is the case for all custody cases irrespective of an agreement.
That being said, it can be extremely stressful for the child affected by a change of routine. On one hand, there is a lack of control of the situation, as their family dynamic is changing in many ways. Additionally, the child may feel like a burden or a source of conflict between their parents. Children may develop a fear of abandonment and feel that their parents are leaving them and each other. During such a difficult time, parents are more stressed and less emotionally available, which can also negatively influence the well-being of the child. From a mental health perspective, it is best to avoid involving children in conflict between their parents.
After a divorce or a separation, parents adopt a new lifestyle, that of being co-parents. Decisions with respect to the children’s education, health and well-being must be taken together despite the parenting arrangement. Nonetheless, good communication between parents plays a key role in facilitating the new realities of child custody.
Here are a few useful tips to ensure the well-being of children going through the challenges of custody arrangements:
- Prioritize the children and their needs. While it is a difficult period for the parents as well, it is crucial to place the needs and wishes of your children above all else.
- Do not alienate the other parent. Influencing children to feel a certain way about the other parent will only negatively impact their mental health.
- Discuss and accept your children’s feelings. Ask them how they are feeling, validate their feelings and empathize with them.
- Reach out to a counsellor, therapist, or family doctor for support.
- Never ask your children to choose a parent. This can be detrimental to their mental health and place a lot of pressure on them by forcing them to make decisions like these.
- Do not discuss legal proceedings and financial aspects with your children. Discussing the financial burden of a divorce or expenses incurred as a single parent is inappropriate and places an unhealthy burden on them, this may make them feel more stressed and nervous about the situation.
- Remember that your children are not adults. Do not force them to grow up faster than they need to and assume more responsibilities than the average child.
At first, children may need time to adjust to the changes brought forth with a new custody arrangement. Therefore, it is important to encourage healthy coping mechanisms, such as seeking professionals help if needed, having open discussions about the new circumstances, and spending more time with family and friends.
Divorce and custody arrangements are complex issues that take a toll on the emotional and psychological well-being of a person, especially young children.
If you have any questions on how to ensure the well-being of your children post-separation/divorce, please contact Spunt Carin to schedule a consultation with one of our specialized family law attorneys today.
Source URL: https://www.spuntcarin.com/blog/child-custody-and-mental-health-ensuring-the-well-being-of-children/
